Lost Episode It Feeds on Noodles
by Invader Bob
Summary: From the remains of Jhonen's work, comes my version of a planned episode that was never made.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Invader Zim is copyright by Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon.

A/N: This fic is based on an original episode concept by Jhonen Vasquez, in which ZIM became a vampire with chopsticks as fangs that fed on Chinese food. No really, I'm not shittin' ya.

Also this fic takes place near the end of the discontinued Season II, in which Invader Skoodge would have moved in with Zim and Tak would have returned. This story will also feature cameos from some characters from Jhonen's comics (JTHM, Squee, etc.) See if you can guess who.s

Anyhow, enjoy.

Invader ZIM

"It Feeds on Noodles"

Written by Robert J. Taverne (AKA Invader Bob)

Based on original concept by Jhonen Vasquez.

Prologue

"**Pain In the Neck".**

It was a dark and spooky night. A night that gave off a feeling foreboding fear and evil. A night at which most regular people might be scared, or at least nervous. But the person out on the street tonight was not regular. In fact, he wasn't even a person. He stood only a few feet high, he could easily be mistaken for a child, even though he was probably older than most buildings. He had green skin, zipper-teeth, a snake-like tongue and eyes and hair which looked fake, which in fact, they were. No, this little guy was a member of the "Great and Powerful" Irken race, and was a member of the elite "Invaders". At least in his own mind.

"RRRAAAAAAAAAARRRGHH, That horrible Dib-stink " he growled, "He ruined my plans again! Me! The mighty ZIM. I am ZIIIIIM!"

Yes, this was the feared and (somewhat) powerful Irken Invader, ZIM. The plan that he had been referring was his plan to contaminate the local water supply with a substance that would make those who drank it to think they were dancing chickens. In the chickeny confusion he could easily conquer the planet. But as mentioned earlier, his nemesis Dib had thwarted him. The only positive attribute was that Dib's camera had been destroyed. To make matters worse, the Voot Cruiser had been badly damaged and thus Zim had no ride home. He had tried calling Gir, but the little robot had not responded. So Zim had been forced to walk home. As he walked through an alley, he did not notice the odd, looming figure on the rooftop above him.

It had an ENORMOUS head, even bigger than Dib's. It also had big floppy ears, no hair, and two fangs half as long as half of its body. It was dressed in what appeared to be Goth fashion. It just sat there, and looked at Zim with a predatory glance.

"**_Alright Eric_**", it said to itself _"**There's your victim. It shouldn't be hard to drain a little kid, and you'll be one step closer to changing your appearance." **_ It positioned itself, and the flung itself towards Zim

"I FEED!"" The creature, Eric, shouted."Eh?" said a confused Zim. He did not have much time to react, as Eric jumped on him, bit his neck and began to drink his blood. But then,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH! What is this stuff? It buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrns!" Eric shouted, Irken blood gushing from Zim's neck as well as falling from his mouth. He screamed as his body burned away at itself until all that was left of him was his huge fangs.

Zim rubbed his aching neck and stared at the fangs. Seeing nothing else to do with them, he dragged them to his base

"Welcome home son." The mechanical parents chimed as he entered the house. "Computer!" Zim shouted.

"Whaaaaaat?" came the computer's whining reply

"Take these fangs to the labs for study."

"Whatever" came the monotonous reply, as a pair of mechanical arms came and took the fangs to the lower levels of the base.

Zim once again rubbed his neck and felt sleepy. But that was impossible. Irkens did not sleep, their PAKs made sure of that. Still Zim felt sleepy, so he sat on the couch. And then fell down in exhaustion, his neck still throbbing.

A/N: How did you like it? Please R and R.

Also you can find many scripts for cancelled season II episodes ("It feeds on Noodles not included") on the Scary Monkey Show website ( ****


	2. Ch1 Skoodge of hard Knocks

A/N: You asked for it. You got it. Here's Chapter 1, starring Skoodge.

It Feeds on Noodles

**Chapter 1**

Skoodge of Hard Knocks.

The morning sunrise. It still seemed odd to Skoodge, The Irken home world had no morning or night, it was an artificial world clouded in eternal darkness with only artificial light providing illumination. Blorch, home of the Slaughtering Rat People, had been no better, what with its heavily clouded skies. Nevertheless, he had conquered Blorch and had been launched as part of the Final Cannon Sweep in accordance with the new tradition.

Funny how he'd been the last to hear of that.

Afterwards, Grapa took credit for his achievement. That wasn't very nice. After surviving that whole Hogulus incident on Hobo 13, Skoodge decided to go to Earth and stay with Zim. Zim had been his only friend when they were kids. Sure, he had thrown Skoodge to that Dermis Prowler Security Droid when they tried to get to Irk's surface, but hey, he knew Zim didn't mean it. Finding Earth was harder than it sounded. It was almost like no-one had even heard of it.

When he arrived, Zim was nice enough to let Skoodge stay in his basement. Occasionally, Skoodge would help Zim with his plans. He once helped with that plan to make the human called Dib, think Zim was a ghost. That plan did not go so well.

Anyhow, back to the story. Skoodge had used the toilet elevator to go to the upper levels of the base. He was shocked at the scene before him.

Zim was lying unconscious on the couch, Gir and MiniMoose were seated around him.

"What's going on?" asked Skoodge.

Gir turned to him and said "Master won't wake up. He won't. WAKE UP MASTAH! PLEASE WAKE UP!" Gir shouted and frantically shook his master, then ha calmed down and began to watch TV.

Skoodge frowned and turned to the computer. "Computer, what happened to Zim?"

"I dunno. He came in with some big tusk things, then he collapsed. "

"Tusk things?" Skoodge had no idea what these tusks may have been, but then he remembered a more immediate problem.

"_**If Zim is not at Skool, the humans might become suspicious, and then Dib might rally more people to his cause, and we'll both be on autopsy tables!**"_ "Zim, wake up!" But Skoodge received only moaning in response.

It was undeniable. There was only one thing left to do.

At Skool, Zim's absence had gone relatively unnoticed. Except of course, by one bespectacled little boy with a **huge **head.

"My head's not big!" The whole class stared at him. "No-one said anything about your head." Said Rob, a fellow classmate.

Dib looked embarrassed, but quickly regained his composure. "Well, Zim isn't here today. Doesn't anyone find tha…."

"I AM ZIIIIIIIIIMMMM!"

The whole class stared at the doorway. In it stood Zim. But there was something different about him. He was dressed the same, sounded the same, but he was hideously FAT. It look like he had gained several pounds overnight.

The reason for this was that it was NOT really Zim. Skoodge, having seen no alternative, had taken Zim's wig and contacts and put them on. Then he had modified his voice to sound like Zim's using the device Zim had used when he thought the FBI was spying on him. Skoodge had gone to Skool in order to keep up appearances for Zim, and he also thought this was a great opportunity for him to learn more about the Earthenoid educational system.

"Yep. I sure am Zim. I am not someone else disguised as him, nope, I am Zim." It was clear that Skoodge was nervous.

"Boy Zim, you sure got fat!" said Poonchy, breaking the silence. **_"Fat?"_** thought Skoodge. "That's not Zim!" shouted Dib "That's the other alien! Whatshisname, the fat one!" Dib was ranting up a storm. "Silence." Said Miss Bitters "Your annoying rants get more ridiculous every time."

"But…."

"NO BUTS! Zim take your seat."

"No problem." said Skoodge "Where is that exactly?"

Meanwhile, back at the base, Zim awoke. He first noticed that the light was bothering him.

"Computer, dim the lights and close the windows." said Zim, but this was not his usual arrogant tone. This was a voice devoid of emotion. Gir and MiniMoose noticed something odd about their master. Not only was his behaviour different but his had begun growing.

Zim's mind was now working on an odd sentient instinct. It knew it had to feed, but it knew its only form of sustenance was currently not here. So it had Zim pick up the phone and order the next best thing.

**_Ring…….ring………rin..click…."Hello? Lam Yuen Chinese Food." _**

Skoodge arrived at the lawn. It had been a horrible day. The teacher just kept on droning about doom and Dib had kept bugging him. He could only imagine how horrible it was for Zim to go through this every day. The food at lunch wasn't so bad. You might think that's weird, but you should know that while on Blorch, Skoodge survived by eating 'really' nasty things. Though if he liked cafeteria food, you kinda have to wonder what he had to eat exactly.

Skoodge walked to the door, walked in, shut the door, and was shocked at the sight before him.

There were Chinese take-out containers all over the floor and Zim was scarfing down noodles like there was no tomorrow. He also appeared to have…..chopsticks, sticking from his mouth. Zim stopped eating, and looked at Skoodge with a predatory look. Before Skoodge could react, Zim pounced on him.

A/N: Theres Chapter 1. Can You geuss which zim episodes (both aired and cancelled) I make reference to in this chapter?


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